Saturday, July 26, 2008

Im not flirting... really!

So this time I'm going to cover the issue of flirting! It's sooo much fun right? But we MUST be careful. I'll start just by talking about my experience with flirting.

Well my first flirting experience was in grade 6. I was 12 years old, and I guess that's when you start getting attracted to the opposite sex. So my first "boyfriend" was my best-friends cousin. At that age flirting really isn't an issue is it? Not really.. So I guess I'll move onto the later years. If you've read some of my previous posts you'll know that my rebellious years were in grade 8-9. And so the flirting takes off! Well I wasn't in the best place, so my flirting skills were kinda mmmm... sleazy? Yeah, I'm not proud of that. Using sexual jokes, or being a tease is not a cool thing to do. But, at that time it didn't seem so horrible. Until it almost got me into trouble. I had some lets say interesting friends during the summer. Guys who slept around and got drunk all the time. Well I never went as far as that. But flirting with them lead them on... eventually making the situation very awkward. It actually stole my first kiss... a kiss I didn't even want.

Okay now flirting is natural I know, sometimes you just can't help it... he/she is just soo cute! But there are healthy ways of flirting. You don't want to lead anyone on, it's not fair. So if your intentions are innocent, stay innocent. That means no relationship comments or touching. When you start to touch their arms or backs, or where ever(you get the idea)... they get the idea that you like them.

You want to use your flirting wisely... to your advantage. If you flirt with every guy you know, the guy you like won't know the difference! So make sure that you tone yourself down just a bit and save your real flirting for the guy you really want to hint to. That way he might actually get the courage to ask you out! Plus guys don't like flirty girls because they know that when you do go out he knows that you'll still probably flirt with other guys... and they don't like that idea.

There's another side to this though, that isn't your fault. I don't flirt with guys, I'm just nice. There is nothing wrong with smiling or laughing with guys. I have a few guy friends and that's just who I am. I laugh and smile a lot, even with my girl friends. Now some guys might get the wrong idea, but it's not your problem. Unless you've gone the extra mile and made arm contact or lots of hugs, there's no reason for a guy to think you like him. And you shouldn't change.

So that's my 2 cents. "til next time, keep fit and have fun" hahaha... hal johnson and joanne mcloud... some reason that makes me laugh and it just randomly came to me so I shared that with you. Enjoy. lol

Raeanne

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

My eyes are up here...please!

Yup, it's all about breasts. And I guess I'm pretty experienced to talk about this since, well you know. Talking about cleavage, and anything related. I'll give you some background info from my life.

So I was raised in a Christian home, so I was never bought anything that wasn't appropriate to wear... besides at that point in my life I was quite young and there wasn't much to showcase. It's the later years... high school to be exact. That's when you start to mature and you have these feelings to look nice for the opposite sex. At this point the leash is taken off and your hopefully allow to pick out your own clothes. Yeah okay, it went pretty well until grade 8. That's when my rebellious stage hit me, pretty hard too. Looking around seeing almost every girl sporting a nice crack above their top I thought there wasn't anything to it. So why not? As I moved on to grade 9 my outfits got worse and worse. Little did I know that it was compromising my self respect. At this point in my life I was not close with God, I knew he was there... but this was MY time to have fun. Eventually going on to grade 10/11 I started to realize this little mess I had made. I started to talk to God again and BAM he hit me with this huge wind of wisdom and advice. "Cover it up my daughter..." WOW!! Man that was instant. I was convicted for showing my cleavage to the entire world. Ever since that turning point, this message been very dear to me heart.

Now, what I don't understand is why majority of Christian women like to be like the world. We are to separate ourselves from the world and try not to do what's "cool" or "in style". I've often spoken about this subject, and I get responses from certain women saying "oh yeah I totally agree with you"... guess what? The next time I see them.... CLEAVAGE!

This is why it is wrong. For one we are to love ourselves and respect our bodies. Two, we are to show love by not tempting or leading are fellow brothers in Christ to sin over lust or impure thoughts. Yes it is your problem too, you might think that it's all on the guy... you can't help that he can't control himself. WRONG! This will sound harsh, but really you are no better then the woman across the street that in the worlds terminology a "slut". Now wait a minute, I'm not calling you a slut... so stop right there. Most women look to another women and think "I can't believe she feels comfortable to wear that..." and in all actuality most don't and just pretend.

Low cut tops, and amount of cleavage even just an inch... bikinis. Oy, bikinis. Why can't we be an example? Where did this come from? Just because the world does it does not give us an excuse to be almost naked. Seriously... bras and panties cover more. I guess if you really want to be an example you should wear your underwear instead. (hint: I'm being sarcastic) Honestly, would you wear your bikini to a church event? Probably not, why? because you would feel gross and ashamed. If Jesus sat beside you at the beach, would you cover up? I sure hope so. I don't understand why christian women want men lusting and having impure thoughts about them? It really is a big issue. I don't ever take it lightly. If we were in the old days, like bible times... they would have considered you a prostitute... lovely hey?

You can be soooo beautiful without having to show everything. Just try, it's not that bad... I promise... I've been doing it for over 4 years now. It's great. Now don't give me that crap about how there is nothing in the stores that is modest. LIE! That's why the awesome camisole was invented. Use it! Man, I'm so glad I'm not a guy.... its not even fair that us sisters torment them like that. Not right, not right at all. Do it, I dare you.. cover yourself up woman!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Fear

wow, there must be over a thousand different times in my life when fear has held me back. My biggest struggle with my relationship with God is fear. Every time I grow fear steps in and I move out of the way for it. I step back. What happens is I get to a new place and then BAM it hits me like a ton of bricks. Mostly during the night, of course. See, it takes me any where from 30 mins to 2 hours to fall asleep. So you can imagine that at this point your mind wonders into things it shouldn't. I'm not sure that I have a problem with thinking demons are in my room... but more so the though of an evil person. Not always in my room... I have an issue with unblinded windows at night. Some times the thought of a man starring at me through a dark window really gets the better of me. Or some times I think that that man is inside my house. And I know its not real and I know that its not from God. Some times when I pray I can defeat it and go to sleep anyways... and some times I don't. Some times I still need to keep my light on. It seems childish but I can only imagine that there are others out there too ashamed to speak about it. And then the really sad moment happens. When I've had too many scary nights, I think to myself "is this worth it?". OY! whats wrong with me right? *sigh* So every time until now I have backed off from God. And here I am again, trying my best to move forward. I also don't like to hear prophetic word. I know its from God... but it still seems kinda spooky to me... specially when its about a "movement" that's coming. It just freaks me out. It makes me think that they are talking about the end of the world. In some cases they are. The reason I tell all of this is so that if you are having trouble as well.. you are not alone. And also for the purpose that you should offer comfort and encouragement to those people struggling with fear. You don't need to say "fear is a sin, get over it.. its not right"... offer kind and gentle thoughts. "You'll be okay, don't worry God is always with you. And I'm always praying for you. When you are scared, you can come to me and we can talk".

Spiritual Abuse

Definitions:
Spiritual: in this case relating to matters of Christianity, relationship with God, Holy spirit, Gifts and day-to-day walk in faith.
Abuse: to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about (dictionary.com)

Meaning:One who speaks harshly about your walk with God, who might falsely accuse you of wrong spiritual practice, who might wrongly advise you based on emotional rather then spiritual. One who might falsely correct an aspect of your life that is not wrong. One who would preach to your life about things they have no right in. And last but not least making one feel less of a Christian then they.

History
In my past I have had many encounters with brothers and sisters in Christ whom have presented spiritual abuse towards me. The first time this happened was in high school. My friend was a newborn christian and in her excitement for Christ she often preached about this and that...mostly the good stuff. But sometimes she went over the edge a bit. I remember this one day some friends has placed a bible in a non working freezer along with a person who willing went inside. Apparently this was offensive to God according to this girl. At this point she continued to tell her friends that they were horrible and that it was a sin. Awhile later she spoke to me and said something along the lines of "I'm a better christian then you" and of course being such a high insult I told her "you have no right to judge other peoples relationships with God" at that point her response was with anger" I do not have to put up with this!" and she stormed off. I gave her time to cool down and even though I had done nothing wrong I approached her to apologize... for what? I have no idea... to this day she never said sorry. But I've moved on.

Another example was last year. I couldn't find a job and kept looking and praying for the perfect job. And I had all the faith to believe that it was going to happen in time. This man whom I knew a bit was a bit outspoken many times and has a high zest for Christ. Every time I had met him he asked if he and the rest could pray for me. Of course I said yes every time, but he never followed through. Of course in the end it was my fault for not reminding him according to his own words. But he had told me that I needed to repent and pray for my sins, for not letting him pray for me. And that if I would have let him pray for me I would have gotten a job because he is highly blessed and gifted according to his words. At this point I knew this wasn't right. I had even gone as far to show the written conversation to a pastor, whom agreed with me.I have been blessed by God. He has given me an amazing shield against these words. I am very glad that I have the ability to look past people like that and know that these people are misguided and need prayer. But that still does not make spiritual abuse right. Though I have learnt alot from those experiences, such has patience and loving those who hurt you, and resisting anger and harsh words. Spiritual Abuse happens WAY too often, and dealing with it can be very hard..specially by yourself.

Christ came to set us free, and we have the freedom to walk our own paths with God. At times it is appropriate for friends to advise changes in your life out of love. But regular judgement on your relationship isn't anyone business unless you ask someone.

Christ is love, and so we should act and show love. If you find yourself noticing an issue in someone, pray about it. Telling someone a fault without any knowledge of the situation is not right. Doing this can cause a lot of hurt and resentment. You could ask the person about it, or pray for wisdom or knowledge about it. But it is not wise to approach someone to say " you do not pray enough, you need to pray more" or something to that nature.