Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Single is not a disease, please?

Ever since I can remember I never had an extreme desire to have boyfriends. It's strange because teenage years are the years to 'have fun'. I remember I had one kinda-boyfriend. I don't like to classify him as a boyfriend because we never actually went on a date. But this was when I was 14? I think. It was so insignificant that I don't even remember it only lasted about a month. It wasn't anything special and so I figured why deal with baggage and crap from guys when I know in the end I'll just end up getting hurt. For some strange reason I was really mature on the subject. I have no idea why, I suppose God was speaking into my life.

As I got older... I still wasn't finding anyone worthy of dating and so I never put much thought into and was happy being myself and single, no attachments. It wasn't until recently I noticed the last 2-3 years have been slightly focused on finding someone. I suppose that's just normal for anyone over the age of 18. I even looked at dating sites. I guess I must have felt that there was no interest in anyone I already knew and figured why limit God in the ways to meet someone.

What I didn't realize is that I became less happy with who I was... kind of basing my thoughts on "what's wrong with me? am I really not a good catch? am I ugly?". I know now that none of these things are true. But the ugly part was always a struggle for me. Even though throughout my entire life guys have told me that I'm "hot", 10/10... I wasn't completely sold on it. I suppose that comes from never hearing it from my Dad. I'm slowly learning with the help of God and my wonderful friends that my doubt on that is a lie from satan.

I recently really liked someone and I prayed so long and so hard about it. I was very confused. and I was confident in who I was/am today and so it eventually became public and it wasn't mutual. Now the point of this, is that I spent so much time in prayer that no matter what he said or though about it wasn't going to change my view about myself.

This moment in my life truly confirmed that I am confident in who I am and that I don't need validation from guys to be happy. I wasn't even in the slightest bit hurt. I knew that it was God's way and I was excited actually... about the outcome. I'm still excited. I know that somewhere is someone extremely amazing! more amazing then anyone I've ever known. And I look forward to it, for whenever it happens.

I think too often people run off feelings. Feelings are truly a dangerous thing. They get in the way of God's answers. I do believe that liking someone is not a good enough reason to date. I believe there needs to be more. I'm not sure what it is yet because I haven't found it... but I'll let you know when I do. I have even in the past turned down guys I actually liked back simply for the fact that I saw no long term marriage material. It's hard, but I think it's wise to step back and think about your future before entering into a relationship.

I am proud of myself, that I have found wisdom and guidance through God. And I will be happily single until God gives me the word. I have the most awesome friends and I think the more you accept that and the more you don't expect it... it will surprise you. Don't settle. Please. Love yourself enough to wait. :)

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Front of the line

If you've grown up in the Christian world you hear people tell you all the time that because you believe in Jesus that you get first dibs. I'm not even sure where this comes from... I suppose there are a few verses in the Bible to which God promises good things to those who trust in Him. Sometimes though I think we take it too far. I deserve a better job than that guy... right??? RIGHT????


No? Well think about it... God loves everyone, sees everyone, not JUST you. Yes it's true God does in fact love us and want us to be happy and have success, but what does that even look like? Surely our view does not match His, it can't... because ours is so selfish. It's so demanding to just expect God to put you ahead of everyone else... even if it would make your life absolutely awesome.

Yes God favors His children, I have no arguments there... but favor doesn't mean He loves you more than His other children who aren't close to Him. Think about your own parents for a moment. A good parent anyways, does not show favoritism over other siblings... that would just make everything extremely complicated. God loves everyone the same amount so to assume that He loves you more to give you more is just absurd.

God will bless those who seek Him, there is no lie about that. But it also has a lot to do with the "boomerang" effect. God clearly states in the Bible that what we send out into the world is what we will eventually get back. If you give out good, humble servant you will probably receive somewhat larger blessings... but that isn't God choosing favorites... it's called being fair, because God is fair. He is more than fair, that fact that we get anything good at all is amazing. Without His mercy and forgiveness we would never have anything to brag about.

We always pray that for ourselves that we would get the promotion, win those tickets... Have you ever thought that maybe there is someone else out there who needs it more than you do? We never do. I don't. And it's rather pathetic. God says to put others before your own needs, to be humble servants... to give the shirt off your back. How does that translate into praying for the best of the best... to get everything handed to you... arms open... waiting... expecting. Maybe you're wondering why your in such a crappy job and maybe your wondering why God hates you so much to not just hand you your dream job. Dude, it's not the way it works. Maybe if you stopped thinking that you're better than everyone else God might start to do some awesome things in your life. Just sayin. Seriously... get over yourself... you're just a "speck", "mist".

Friday, May 21, 2010

Good deeds and callings

This came up recently in my life as a subject for thought. I always felt like I wasn't doing a whole lot with my life and that I wasn't living up to the "christian" standard. You know how you see those church people who look like they are BFFs with God? Got about 2-5 different ministries going on... know how to speak and read Hebrew... oh yeah you know those people. Most of the time we feel like crap when we see them. "So what are you doing with your life?"... "Nothing! I'm just a loser!". K, well hopefully your not saying that about yourself... it's not true!

There is a huge misconception that people who obey God and pursue their calling are more right with God. When in fact, these people have nothing to do with the works of God. People in ministries are only instruments of God. Yes they have obeyed God and that is good, but they are not any more saved then you. Keep in mind that you also have a calling and one day you will find it.

Your ministry, your calling does not define who you are. It may be apart of your life but it is not a description of you. If you sing praise and worship, that is NOT who you ARE it is only what you do for GOD. The only description you can give yourself for your ministry is the term obedient, that's all you get. All the glory is Gods, not yours. What defines you is your character and personality.

Good deeds, yes good deeds are well.... good. And Jesus commands us to be humble servants and give as we have been given great things from Him. But be careful and do not except that your good deeds will cancel out all your wrong doings. If that is how it worked no one would ever win. Often most of the time we SIN while doing a good deed! It seems so hopeless, why do we do it then? God calls us to, we should listen to Him... but don't put your faith and growth with God based on your good deeds. You don't have to work that hard to have a relationship with God, He sent Jesus to work hard to have a relationship with US. Your works won't bring you closer to God. It should be, spend time with God and then let Him move you into something He has called you to do.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The blame game

I've always heard people, specifically Christians say that God planned this for me. Well in most cases they are probably right. BUT many times they include diseases, sickness and disabilities in this little "package" of God's doing. However there is no truth behind that.

First off, when God created the earth he made everything perfect and wonderful. He made Adam and Eve perfect too. Neither of them had any diseases or disabilities. These conditions only came AFTER they sinned against God. Now this reaction wasn't all out of wrath. They made the choice to make their own decisions and with that came consequences. It's never God's plan to give a person, a child he soo very loves any harmful unpleasant condition. If this was so, I'm sure we would have heard about it from Adam and Eve.

God can take bad things and use them for good. A person who gets raped, that is not God's doing.. it is the evil of man. But God can also use this person to witness to others and help them regain themselves. Whenever something really bad happens, it's good to have a forgiving and understanding heart. To be able to handle what it is and keep good spirit. But never thank God for a disability. I know I've heard one person say that "yeah it was meant to be, this cancer was the path God chose for me and I'm okay with that". That, is complete crap! Never, ever, ever! If this was true... then we would be praying for people to receive cancer... and that is not the case.

Also, I have heard that its a blessing to have a child with a disability... to say it was Gods plan for this child to be disabled. A blessing to have a child with a disability? I think that's insulting to God. He makes everything perfect and in his image... and I am pretty sure that God does NOT have a disability. Anything that is not of good, comes from evil. Think about it. Why would God, send his only Son to come and save us and HEAL us only for God to injure us? Jesus came to heal people, meaning he came to fix what the world/evil had given them. He says "by my stripes you are healed" it does not mean "by my stripes you will be disabled".

Prayer... why do we pray? Because it helps. Why do you pray for people with disabilities? Because it's not what God wants, it's not healthy... it's not fun. God only wants whats best for you. It says in the Bible your earthly father likes to bless you and give what you need, how much more then does your Heavenly Father want to give you what you need, this includes health. If your mother and father would say to you " i think your path should be rough and unpleasant filled with pain along with a disability or maybe a disease... yes a disease that would fit you perfectly my dear" you would think what? Exactly, God does not do this.

I can't explain why some people are never healed, that I do not know. But I KNOW that MY God does not infect, does not harm and does not disable people. Period.

Friday, July 31, 2009

The Christian Lifestyle???

How many times have you heard someone say "oh I know so and so is a christian but she doesn't live the lifestyle", or someone saying "I choose to live the christian lifestyle". Most people, like me are thinking.... *what the heck is a christian lifestyle?*. Is there like a certain list or do's and dont's? Okay so maybe there is, one is called the Ten Commandments. But then sometimes I think it goes deeper then that.

So, you're a christian... good job. Now that Jesus is in your heart it's time to start changing your lifestyle into something glorifying. But where is the line? what if people think I'm a snob? In truth, if you try to live a christian lifestyle most people will think you are a snob. I am sorry, BUT I think it's cool to sacrifice popularity for the greater Love.

First point. The Ten Commandments, the Bible does state that we should definitely follow these... and it makes sense. Usually if you are following Jesus you wouldn't want to anyways, right? So for some this IS the definition of a christian lifestyle. The only downfall is MANY non-Christians live this life as well. So technically you don't have any separation from the way you look and act. With saying this I think there is something way deeper then the Ten Commandments to being in the christian lifestyle.

The general idea. To NOT fit in. Jesus most definitely did not fit in among the people. To a lot of people he was considered a freak, a loser... WEIRDO! With saying that I think he's called us to follow that. But wait! You don't have to TRY and be a loser or freak... if you find the right people they will think you are just the best!

Now, in the Bible it doesn't say "whoever watches movies is a fool"... there are no specific guidelines the entertainment and Christians. But I do believe that whatever Jesus wouldn't watch, I shouldn't either. It makes sense doesn't it? The average young adult will watch anything, say anything, do anything. Movies: okay so movies can be pretty funny right? I can agree to that. There are a lot of evil movies out there, some with demonic concepts... others just aren't tasteful. God said everything you do, let it glorify Him. I'm pretty sure that didn't include watching a sex scene in the movies. That doesn't mean you have to cut-out movies completely, but when it comes to your mind and thoughts you should try and protect it by picking movies that wont challenge your christian opinions.

Music: This also has the same idea, when you listen to secular music what do you get from it? what can you take away with you to help enrich your life? What in common do these songs have with you? If you don't have sex, then 99% of the songs don't mean anything to you. Okay, okay... so there are a few songs out there that have nothing to do with sex... but they are still empty songs. Listening to christian music is so uplifting.. and I know you're already thinking all those songs are sooo boring. But what is boring about them? is God boring?

Speech: This is a big area to cover. dirty jokes, profanity... oy... so much going on! Making fun of people. Okay, so i confess to have done all of these at one point or another. but the point is to try and get away from these things. They do nothing for your relationship with God. I've heard people say, "well swearing isn't a sin, its just rude". Okay so being rude is a good thing? God doesn't want you to be rude. Dirty jokes... sexual, why must you always go there? Why do Christians mock and poke fun at something that was suppose to be so pure? God did NOT create sex so we could be crude and perverted. Making fun: okay this one is very clear to see. Love your neighbors as yourself. Very clearly stated in the Bible, you shouldn't purposely try and bring someone down, and this includes behind their back.

Seriously though, we all need to work on these things. It's not me or the next person that you have to prove these things to. God needs to know that you are willing to be someone extra special just for Him. He is the one watching and judging what you do, see and say. When I think of what He sees of me... I'm very disappointed in myself. Enough to really work hard and be the person I know He wants me to be. If you're not sure if something you want to do goes along with what God has for you pray on it and picture Jesus doing it.

In conclusion, most christians don't live any lifestyle at all. I've failed at so many of them I would be a hypocrite if I said I did. But I try so hard to live a life that pleases God. Drinking, sex, cursing, teasing, music and movies... I'm sure all things God would tell you, you don't need.

Monday, February 9, 2009

I don't care

" I don't care.." is a phrase that majority of people look at in a negative matter. However, there is some truth and wisdom hidden in there! Believe it or not... this can actually HELP you become closer to Family, Friends and most importantly God.

So you're probably wondering what the heck I'm talking about right? haha. It's simple, really. It depends on what you don't care about, the object is more important then the meaning. Obviously when we talk about not caring for people it is truly a negative thought. Material items on the other hand can be sacrificed and tossed to the side.

When it comes to material items, such as you ipod, or your clothes or any other objects that most people become attached to... you just need to stop caring. Not care for, care of. See one HUGE thing between us and God is our love for objects. It's relevant in the Bible that possessions are to not be worshiped. Not that I'm saying you actually get on your knees or pray to your prada shoes...(at least I hope not). But God does imply that items we care more about then Him or REALLY important things is quite close to worship. For example, you cannot LOVE money and LOVE God, it's the truth... you must chose! I mentioned a bit of this in my previous post about letting go of material possessions mainly because you can't take them to Heaven... and most certainly don't get you further on earth. Saying "I don't care" about that bracelet helps you in the future when it breaks, gets stolen....lost. If you've already stated your feelings for this object and how it is not important to you or your survival... dealing with its disappearance will be a lot easier. (and less tears.....boohoo)

Family and Friends is a bit different, it doesn't matter so much to possessions as it does preferences. As we all know, from one person to the other our ideas, opinions, plans and structures change. Aside from our main values and beliefs, everything in the middle is not really all that important. I'm not saying your opinions don't matter, I'm saying they don't help the big picture. When you don't care about tv, movies, music... it's easier to stay focused and more agreeable. It's not just helping your friend out, it's really more for yourself. Believe it or not, but most people can get pretty upset and even sad about those kinds of things... specially when the other person doesn't like it how you like it. If you can tell yourself and believe it when you say "this really isn't a big deal, it really doesn't matter... I don't care" your putting yourself ahead of the herd. Wouldn't it be awesome to not be offended so much? To not worry that things aren't going your way? It can be done... just DON'T CARE so much. It might seem like a lazy approach... but its actually REALLY hard to do!!

Trust me... it's worth trying. And you don't have to answer every question with "I don't care". Just be simple. Maybe give an idea and remind yourself if it's not what others want, just go with it. (or don't, depending on the subject.... say NO to drugs :) If it's really against what you are, enough to still care then stick to it. You don't need to sacrifice your personality... just the minor things.

mmmk? good.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Stuff & Junk

Material possesions, your belongings, clothes, knick-knacks, and even money. How much do you own? How much should we own? When is it too much and when is it a sin? The issues of material possesions can really hinder our journey with God.

It's a simple question, be honest with yourself. How much stuff do you own? Is every inch of your room or house filled with stuff? I used to have a lot of stuff, as a teenager it's harder to be material conscious. But now as a young adult, I have realized that I had a lot of junk, stuff...this, that. I used to have soo much that I didn't have enough space for everything! I had way too many clothes, clothes that I rarely even wore. Go through your things and see how much you actually own.

What do you need? So this is the next step. Once you have seen that you have more then you need go through your things and ask "what do I need?" and needs and wants are completely different! Be honest with yourself or this process is pointless. I remember coming to that moment where I looked around my room and was like, why do I have all this stuff? I dont even use half of it! And telling myself that I would get rid of all those things. Things that you need include, underware, clothes, personal hygene, bed and all sorts. Things that you have NOT used within the last 2-3 months (except seasonal items like coats and boots) should be gotten rid of. Give it to charity or sell it in a garage sale.

The issues with stuff. God says that you can only serve one. You cannot serve God and Money. God or TV, God or materials. You get the idea. If you can't be content with what you already own then you probably have a problem. If you need new things to make you feel happy, you have some issues you need to work on with God. If you look at materials as a way to prove your worth or your self esteem, you are going down a very dangerous path. You cannot LOVE your posessions and God at the same time. God says those who lose their life will gain it. Meaning those who leave worldy flesh addictions behind will gain a fruitfull life with God. Remember you can't bring anything to heaven. If you look at something and say "if it was stolen I would be absolutely devistated" perhaps you should start working on getting rid of it NOW. There is nothing in my room or that I own that I would lose myself over if it was gone. And that's a place that we all need to find.

Memory items. Yes, memory items are good to keep... but don't be excessive! You don't need more then one item per memory. Make them small items and place them in boxes so they don't get in your way. Though do not get attached to memory items, though they can be nice reminders all that matters is you have the memory in your mind. And that alone should keep you satisfied. If my memory items were accidently burned in a fire.. no loss to me... they arent worth anything because its still in my mind.

Nice things. Yes you are allowed and should have nice things. It isnt a sin to have or want nice things, or new things even. As long as you aren't attached. Buying things you don't need. If you have trouble with clothes or collecting, put up an agreement. Promise yourself you will remove one item when you buy a new item. I bought new runners, I had money for it (cash) and didn't own any runners so I needed some runners. I didn't buy expensive ones either... because it doesn't matter if people think your cheap or think less of you because you bought it from walmart. I feel bad for those people.

Do not love your stuff, do not love your money. Plain and simple.